Everyone grieves in different ways. For some, it could take longer or shorter. I do know it never disappears. An ember still smolders inside me. Most days, I don’t notice it, but, out of the blue, it’ll flare to life. -Maria V. Synder
Over a decade ago, I lost my first pregnancy, my first baby, and with it, everything else it seemed. Death is so final, and I guess that is what makes it so hard. However, I think any other sort, I could have learned to accept. But to have to mourn for a child was and still is beyond my capability to handle, to reason, to understand. I cried, I yelled, I died. And I still cry. But such is life, not every flower blooms, not every blossom becomes a fruit and not every child is born. There are no reasons, no explanations. It just is.
This sort of life event does not just pass. It breaks you. It changes you; forever. You see life differently, through glasses in shades of blue, because now you know from experience that everything, on a perfectly sunny day, can just slip through your fingers at any moment.
To be broken is no reason to see all things as broken. –Mark Nepo
In life, there is always a reason to celebrate. It is this hope that pulls us through. So for reasons, big or small, in your life, that call for a celebration, here is a scrumptious recipe for blueberry almond tartlets. These tartlets are also my firstborn son’s favourite. For me, just that, is reason to celebrate.
Pastry Crust (adapted from Tesco Real Food)
(Makes crust to fill five tart tins, 4.5 inches in diameter each.)
- 200 g white whole wheat flour, plus extra for dusting
- 125 g cold butter, plus extra for greasing the tart tins
- 1 tbsp sugar
- 1 egg yolk (keep egg white for filling)
- 2-5 tbsp water
- Lightly butter the tart tins.
- Mix flour and sugar together. Rub in the butter with your fingertips. Add the egg yolk. Start by adding 2 tsp of water and mix to form a dough. Add additional water as required to get a firm dough that can be shaped into a ball.
- Divide dough into 5 balls and roll out the first ball into a circle on a lightly floured surface. Roll into a disk that is slightly larger than the tart tins. Press onto the base of the tins and up the sides. With a knife, trim off the pastry to have a neat edge along the top. Repeat for the other tins. Prick the base of each tin with a fork and chill in the refrigerator for 15 minutes. In the meantime, preheat oven to 375°F.
- Line each tin with parchment paper and fill with baking beans. Bake for 10 minutes. Remove the paper and the beans and bake for an additional 5 minutes or until the pastry just begins to brown at the edges. Let cool completely. In the meantime, prepare the filling.
Blueberry Almond Tart Filling (adapted from Tesco Real Food)
(Fills five tart tins, 4.5 inches in diameter each.)
- 70 g butter, softened
- 70 g sugar
- 1 egg, plus 1 egg white
- 70 g almond meal
- 80 g blueberries
- 2 tbsp sliced almonds
- icing sugar (optional)
- Preheat oven to 350°F.
- Beat butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in the eggs one at a time. Stir in almond meal.
- Divide this mixture equally between the tart tins, sprinkle with blueberries and sliced almonds. Bake for 20-25 minutes, or until golden.
- Let cool for 15 minutes, remove from tins and dust with icing sugar before serving if desired. Celebrate!